Getting some sober time brings clarity. This may make it more obvious that the family dynamics you grew up with were unhealthy or destructive. You might realize you picked up patterns of relating that don’t serve you in recovery.
Changing Instinctual Ways of Relating
Therapy is a really useful tool for both excavating and healing from these patterns. It can take time and an outside perspective to recognize them. Often they are deeply ingrained. For instance, if you were put in a caretaker position at an early age, you might instinctively take responsibility for those around you without considering your own needs.
It can take practice setting boundaries and learning to cope with the initial discomfort of not stepping in to “fix” people’s problems. You might work with your therapist on discerning when it’s appropriate to help and when it’s detrimental.
Addiction in the Family
The factors that cause addiction are a complex interplay between genetics, environment, trauma, and many others. Kids who grow up with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder are four times more likely to later develop one themselves; this means that many adults with addiction grew up in households impacted by substance use. Protecting your sobriety may mean setting boundaries around time spent with family members who still drink or use drugs.
Destructive Relationships From Active Addiction
Addiction is called a family disease, because it impacts the people in your life along with you. You may be looking to repair dynamics in your current life that became unhealthy while you were drinking or using. A therapist can help you work on communication skills that may have suffered while you were in active addiction. Many addiction treatment centers offer family therapy. This is open to anyone in your life who wants to support you, or with whom your relationship might need healing.
While relationships fall into patterns that can be hard to break, it is always possible to change or step away from unhealthy dynamics. Building strong relationships—based on mutual support—is a big part of recovery.
If you are struggling with a substance use or mental health disorder, there is help and hope. Amatus Recovery Centers offers high-quality treatment for mental health disorders and addiction in facilities across the country. We will help you repair your relationships and build a strong support system. Call an admissions specialist at 410-593-0005.